Why Do We Have Negative Thoughts?
Negative thoughts are the doubting and judgmental thoughts that we have in our head. They are the thoughts that make us feel bad. They usually spring up when we are feeling doubtful or insecure about a situation, event, or person. Negative thoughts can also be thought of as our limiting beliefs. Our limiting beliefs are thoughts that literally limit our way of thinking. They can be thought of as our blind spots. They limit our ways of thinking and blind us to the reality of the situation. Think of a person who is only seeing half of the picture; that is how our brains are when we have an influx of limiting beliefs. We are literally unable to see the clear picture, which makes us feel negative, drained and unmotivated. When we are in this negative state, we are unable to stay in the present moment and live accordingly.
Here is an excerpt from my eBook, The Blueprint For Positive Thinking.
Negative thoughts are thoughts that make you feel uneasy, anxious, disappointed and angry. Unfortunately, it is so easy to feel negative thoughts. It seems like these thoughts are always popping in and out of our brains. Negative thoughts make you feel uneasy and uncomfortable. For many people, they may cause full- blown disorders, such as Major Depression Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, and so forth. These are actually referred to as disorders of the mind.
It all sounds so simplistic, but the causes of major illnesses such as the ones just mentioned are accumulations of negative thought patterns. Of course, there are situations that cause depression, for example losing one’s job or a death of a loved one. However, if we look at the root of depression, we find that the cause is negative thoughts in response to specific situations, such as loss of a job and etc.
Where do our negative thoughts/limiting beliefs come from? We have picked up most of these thoughts through our childhood, experiences with others, relationships, values and judgments. Our family experiences play a big role in the way we think about the world. The way our parents interacted with us developed much of our self-talk.
Self-talk is the conversation we have with ourselves in our head; it can be thought of as the inner monologue that is always present. I am sure you are having some self talk now, as you read this eBook. Our self-talk has been evolving ever since we were children. Depending on our experiences, our self-talk will be either positive or negative. Most of us struggle with negative self-talk, as it is much easier for us to be fearful and doubtful.
If we look closely at our limiting beliefs, we will discover that many of them are not even ours to keep! Many of our limiting beliefs come from society and the way others think we should do things. If you turn on the TV, you will be bombarded with a million different ways to think. Advertisements and media focus on telling us how to think. Our personal experiences also shape our limiting beliefs. Depending on what we have each gone through in our lives, we will develop certain habits of thinking.
For example, an individual who has been abused as a child will grow up to think that the world is a dangerous and unloving place. An individual without an abuse history may be more trustful and open with others. This is not due to something “wrong” that each of us has done. We are always responding to our experiences. So, depending on each of our experiences, the time it will take to challenge our negative beliefs will alternate. There is no right or wrong timeframe to challenge negative beliefs and become more positive. Due to some terrible experiences some of us have gone through, it may take longer to cope through the process. The important note is that you here today, want to change and become a positive thinker. As long as you are willing to start, you will continually make progress.
Many of my clients will insist that they have no control over their thoughts. They state that their thoughts just pop up and accumulate. This is true, but as we talk about in therapy, thoughts can be changed with dedication and a willingness to do so. This is not an overnight process and will take some time, but it is very possible. The more you learn about your thoughts, the more you will be able to manage them. The goal is to manage, not eliminate, your negative thoughts.
It would be unrealistic to state that we can eliminate negative thoughts forever. In reality, even the happiest person has negative thoughts. The difference is that happy people have learned the art of managing their negative thoughts. When something bad happens, they don’t over think and blame themselves for the occurrence. They don’t constantly sit there and call themselves losers. They realize that everyone makes mistakes.
As the Law of Attraction states, your thoughts attract your experiences. When you have positive thoughts, you are in a feeling state of feeling good and attracting positive experiences to you. The goal is to feel good every moment and to know that things are working in your favor if you allow them to.
The more negative your thoughts, the more negative situations and feelings you will attract. Have you ever met a happy person with a negative mindset or vice versa? There is no such thing as a happy person who has negative thoughts. Your happiness is in your hands and can be controlled by your thoughts. There is no complex formula to happiness and you don’t have to spend thousands of dollars to do so.